....you reheat your cup of tea 3 times before you actually drink it!
....you walk around all day with baby sick on your top and only realise when you get undressed and don't actually care!
....you can no longer leave the house within 10 minutes with just your keys and phone!
....leaving the house is like a military operation!
....you go to the toilet for a bit of peace!
....you would rather buy your daughter that dress than yourself!
....your handbag now contains the following added extras... nappies, baby wipes, a pair of knickers, and the contents of an empty packet of Cheddar's! Yes you read that right it was full when you put it in but it's now crumbles at the bottom!
....your leaving the house routine consists only of brushing your hair and teeth, you don't care about the makeup you just need to get out the house and let the kids wear themselves out to stop the bickering!
....7pm = kids bed time and wine o'clock!
....Bank holidays and weekends no longer mean day off or lie in!
....you can name at least 10 local parks and soft play centres
....popping out the house on your own is as exciting as going on holiday!
....you know silence with the kids around is NOT a good thing!
....tidying the house with kids around is like hoovering and eating a biscuit whilst hopping on one leg! Impossibly pointless!
....you can put your makeup on and eat a 2 course dinner with one hand whilst holding the baby!
....you will kung fu karate chop that ruddy wasp from here to kingdom come if it comes anywhere near your babies but scream like a girl and run if it comes near you!